Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
