do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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