Can i not drive my cunt home
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize