Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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