guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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