he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
