You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
