I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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