I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
