I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
