Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
