he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
