So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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