he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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