Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize