i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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