Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
smell my finger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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