Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
