So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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