Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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