If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize