I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
