she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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