why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
