Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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