My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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