I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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