the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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