I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
