I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
