Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
