My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Nicole vs. Life
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
