Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
