It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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