i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
