4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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