Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize