I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Success! We fucked roommates!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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