we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If that was your dad, he is hot
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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