i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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