do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
