I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
