I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize