i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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