TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
