I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
