That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize