How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
