I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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