Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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