Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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