You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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