I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
