He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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