this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
