wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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