We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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