normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
